Lost in a Permanent Dream: Transmission 416, 2018 July 18

I write often, it seems, about the "end of" this or that "universe," of a program closing a chapter without my knowing it at the time. Consider this the latest instalment, as we say goodbye to the recurring feature known as "Physical Evidence." It is dead; long may it live! And indeed, I didn't know at the time, but learned soon hereafter, that it was making Junior uncomfortable to record the voiceover. Without Junior, this feature is nothing, so away it goes. One of the "wrongs" with my undergraduate show which I set out to "right" with this one (shall we call it "post-doctoral?") is that I was always so deeply into myself and my own thing; this is, whatever it may seem, a family program.

On account of that, I have been wondering how much gas Bombast as a whole has left in the tank. Sometimes I feel that Physical Evidence was the program, though I am reminded that I've done many episodes that didn't include it, and that the show began without it, during a long period of unemployment, as something that was supposed to keep me connected to the world of people so that I didn't go completely feral, as I was threatening to do. So Bombast doesn't need Physical Evidence, but I also no longer need this radio thing in the same way. Why the existential dilemma, then? As I wrote back when Physical Evidence began under another, unfortunate, name, I wanted a way of dealing with the past, a way not to be doing "Today's Aberration, Tomorrow's Fashion" with the Forced Exposure catalog (that's an inside joke, sorry).

But one of my problems is that my head is frequently in the past and I have trouble "Being Here Now." So I am also thinking that a present-focused program may be a thing I need at the moment, and that maybe quitting this gig because my kid hit puberty isn't the most coherent course of action. Maybe. Also, it strikes me now (sorry if you've already realized this) as pretentious and condescending to think the present doesn't acquit itself perfectly well, or that I need to add value or focus to it.

I am guessing this will always feel like unfinished business: I have a list of about 100 things I was meant to play as part of this feature, but didn't get to. That will make me a little bit sad unless I find a way of folding those releases in somehow. I suppose I could do something like "playing the whole damn record," as I did with Lonely Is An Eyesore that one time, and which I didn't do often enough with the Physical Evidence releases. Or, you know, maybe I could just "sit with" my sadness and see how that goes. I'm doing the latter for the time being.

I come to bury Physical Evidence, not to praise it. And not even to eulogize it properly--this is a diary, not a collection of essays or even a proper blog. PE was truly the essence of the program in that it featured in some of my best shows, some of my worst, and a lot in the middle. But its absence is mostly a hole in my heart. Is that a tear rolling down my cheek as I write this? Yes, yes it is. Alright, we've both done enough work here for now.

So the "crime of the week" feature in these commentaries will have to wait for another time.

BOMBAST playlist, 2018 July 18, 2100-2300:

1. "Railing" | Roni Size & Reprazent | New Forms (20th Anniversary Edition) | UMC
2. "Don't Hold Me Back" | The Buff Medways | This Is This | Vinyl Japan | "Physical Evidence"
3. "The Start" | Moon Gangs | Earth Loop | Village Green
4. "Avlemonas" | Melquiades | Blue Caves | Scissor & Thread
5. "Gradients" | Chris Carter | Chemistry Lessons Volume 1 | Mute
6. "Last Night" | Life on Venus | Lovelife, A Homage To Lush | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
7. "Till The End of Time" | The Buff Medways | This Is This | Vinyl Japan | "Physical Evidence"
8. "My Right Hand" | Pete Astor | Spilt Milk | Slumberland
9. "Blue Hill feat. Sandek - Pophop Remix" | Zigan Aldi | 20 Jahre SOS - Jubilaums Compilation | 3000 Grad
10. "Hometime" | Kwes. | Songs for Midi | WARP
11. "Natalie's Aquarium Lab" | Mokona | Love in Restricted Areas | Templar Sound
12. "Space Before Wake" | Aera | The Sound Path | Permanent Vacation
13. "unother" | Terekke | Improvisational Loops | Music From Memory
14. "Wind" | Zombie Girlfriend | Fuzzy Feelings Collection | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
15. "Cross Lines" | The Buff Medways | This Is This | Vinyl Japan | "Physical Evidence"
16. "Sweet Dreams" | Jubl | Thinking Sweet | self-released
17. "2.3" | Nicklas Sorensen | Solo 2 | El Paraiso
18. "Find Your Saint" | Pinkshinyultrablast | Miserable Miracles | Club AC30
19. "May Flowers" | The Sueves | R.I.P. Clearance Event | HoZac
20. "Teach Me What You Know" | The Buff Medways | This Is This | Vinyl Japan | "Physical Evidence"
21. "One Evening in July" | Chevel | Always Yours | Different Circles
22. "Penny Arcade" | Eric Random | Two Faced | Klanggalerie
23. "Men-an-Toi" | Mark Pritchard | The Four Worlds | WARP
24. "Castle" | Post Animal | When I Think of You in a Castle | Polyvinyl
25. "look busy" | Captain Wardrobe | Kronosphere | self-released
26. "This Is This" | The Buff Medways | This Is This | Vinyl Japan | "Physical Evidence"
27. "The One with the Emoticon - Yu Su Remix" | Seb Wildblood | The One With (Remixes) | Omena
28. "Austerity Robbery" | Brian Harris | Red Cow | self-released
29. "Don't Give Up on Love" | The Buff Medways | This Is This | Vinyl Japan | "Physical Evidence"
30. "Camminando Qui" | Blaine L. Reininger | The Blue Sleep | Les Disques du Crepuscule
31. "Permanent Dream" | The National Jazz Trio of Scotland | Standards Vol. IV | Karaoke Kalk
32. "Intro" | Amen Dunes | Freedom | Sacred Bones
33. "Away by Fire" | Still Circles | 27 : 36 | Killtone
34. "After the Dark - Kombinat100 Remix" | Tito & Tarantula | 20 Jahre SOS - Jubilaums Compilation | 3000 Grad
35. "This Won't Change" | The Buff Medways | This Is This | Vinyl Japan | "Physical Evidence"
36. "Miss Lucy" | Liz Phair | Girly-Sound to Guyville | Matador
37. "White Worms Outro" | Weirdest Dream | White Worms | Dopeness Galore

Everything is temporary

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